I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
