Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Is it because I queefed?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
