Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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