Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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