I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
