why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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