broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
