you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
