found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
