She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
