hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
