I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
