Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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