I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
