Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
