im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I would fuck him just for his dog
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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