I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
FUCK WHALES
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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