I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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