She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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