I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
