turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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