could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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