last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
