She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
