He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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