I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
