I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
