Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
