Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
