it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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