wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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