She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
