Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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