why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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