I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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