U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
