Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
