My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
