Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
