Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
