Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
