I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
