DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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