i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
This house was built for laser tag.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
