No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
