loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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