The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize