your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
