I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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