it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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