Where is the hickey?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
