you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Everyone says I win the strip club
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
