Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She is in my trunk
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
