piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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