can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
