Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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