I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
