1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
