dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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