I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
