you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
