I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
