Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
