I think my vagina is haunted
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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