similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
