my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
what the fuck happened to the tacos
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
