Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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