the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
