So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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