O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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